![]() ![]() They may feel angry that their partner isn’t more validating and understanding as they should be, which can develop into resentment in a marriage over time. If one partner is not supportive when the other is struggling (with chores, income, etc.), it can leave the struggling partner feeling alone. It can be difficult to manage all the demands and needs in a relationship. When they are deliberately hurting us with name-calling, those feelings can fester and develop into resentment. We trust our partners to be mindful and careful with our emotions. When our partner calls us names, bullies us, or is mean to us, that can really hurt us. When those feelings aren’t addressed, acknowledged, and processed, it can lead to strong feelings of resentment. When our partners betray us, it can feel like the world is coming in on us. 1Ĭommon causes of resentment include: BetrayalĪny kind of betrayal (financial, sexual, etc.) can lead to strong feelings of resentment in a marriage. John Gottman called resentment one of the “Four Horsemen” of relationships. Only then can the offending partner offer a true empathic apology and move on, often forging an even stronger bond. Whether these wounds include betrayal, a lack of communication, or criticism, they need to be gently re-opened and inspected. Resentment in a marriage is the byproduct of not healing a wound between partners.
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